The Philly Open in Edison, Conta's Report

So, Edison…what can I say about New Jersey that isn’t hateful or stereotypical? Um…well…right.


So, Team D.O.T.S. had finally assembled for the next trip-we were gonna play for a foil playset of either the Standard fetches, Baneslayer Angel, Elspeth, or Lotus Cobra; all pretty sweet and shiny, so we were excited. Derek, Josh, Matt, Kball and myself along with a few others from Hanleys all headed out and played some Magic. Did I Top 8…? Well, let’s just say I went home with some shiny cards. For the record, I was running Boros Bushwhacker, a red/white deck that plans on playing creatures for the first few turns in the game to deal little bits of damage, then end the game with some burn spells to the face to deal the rest of the damage.


So, round 1 I played against Vampires. I hate Vampires, and I really don’t know why-they seem like a decent deck. Maybe it’s because I’m an aggro deck and I really don’t like when my opponents gain life (read: Tendrils of Corruption). Anyway, he won game one off of two Nocturnuses and straight out killed me. I beat him game two (I think he was mana screwed) and in game three he kept a hand of no creatures and a turn two sign in blood against my aggro deck. Smart keep.


Round 2 I was against a really cool kid and deck-he called his deck Indiana Jones! It was blue/white turbo fog…without the fog. I know. He was probably thinking, let’s give an aggressive deck a lot of cards so he can beat me to death faster. Low and behold, that’s what happened. Props to the idea though, he was running a trap package and tried to play trapmaker’s snare to find the traps he needed in the situation.


Round 3, I played against Unearth combo, a deck that plans on putting cards in the graveyard then bringing them all back at a cheaper cost. I beat him game one a turn or two before he could kill me, but game 2 he got triple Hedron Crab and I lost after he generated something like 36 mana on turn 7. Game three, I almost lost-he unearthed three Extractor Demons THEN unearthed three Rotting Rats. In response, I Celestial Purged a demon and went to 1 life from the alpha strike. Had he unearthed the rats first, which he should have, I wouldn’t have been able to purge a demon and he would have won.


Round 4 I played against a guy I had seen around from time to time, Tom. He was playing Jund, a.k.a. the enemy, and he got mana screwed in games 1 and 2. He would have wiped my board with a Jund Charm game 2 if he did it on his turn, but he waited until I attacked him and I played Harm’s Way for the win.


Round 5 was the most intense round of the day. I played against Marcin, a kid who was also 4-0 and in his first big tournament ever. I wished him good luck and we started to play. I don’t recall who won games one and two, but I remember him playing a Brave the Elements in one game to swing by my team and win. Game three, I had to beat him with an Elspeth and flying Steppe Lynx in order to deal enough-he had 3-4 creatures able to swing in and kill me, but I had just enough blockers to end at 1 life and I beat him the turn before he could swing back for lethal. Had he drawn Brave the Elements or removal, I would have lost. All really close games and a really nice kid, so it was some really good Magic.


But, it wasn’t as good as round 6. As much as I love playing with nice people and winning really close games, there’s nothing like shit stomping an asshole. So, we shuffle up and play and I win the die roll, electing to go first. My opponent turns out to be playing Jacerator, a blue white turbo fog deck kinda like the one I played against round 2, but better because of the fog aspect (fog is essentially a spell that says creatures deal no combat damage this turn-since my deck is all about attacking, I hate seeing this card. In addition, turbo fog decks run around 8-12 copies of this card traditionally and try to “mill you out,” going for the way of killing an opponent by making them draw out their entire deck of cards. As an excruciatingly long and obnoxious way of winning, it’s no wonder why these types of strategies are usually frowned upon as far as a code of honor is concerned.)


But that’s not what I disliked about this kid. He played Howling Mine on turn two and passed the turn. I drew one card for the turn, and then proceeded to play a land. He IMMEDIATELY called a judge over and said I broke a rule. I forgot to draw another card from Howling Mine, and it’s true that I technically broke the rules. However, it’s kind of like jaywalking-people do it all the time and it’s not really a rule that matters. Not drawing an extra card from Howling Mine and effects like it is a common mistake all types of players make, whether they are new to the game or pros. Worst comes to worst, he just reminds me to draw another card from the effect that he freakin controls and we resume play like nothing happened. Because, NOTHING HAPPENED.


Actually, since he noticed it and DIDN’T say anything, he technically broke the rules too, but instead of being a nice guy about it, he decided to be a dick. The judge gave me a warning, I drew my extra card, and shifted into my “you’re a worse person than I am and I’m going to show you how much better than I am” mode that I slip into when players act like a dick to me. Sadly, I lost game one. So we sideboard and I chat him up a little bit, and he says to me, “yea, I copied this deck from the Worlds list, and it has Baneslayer Angel in the side, and I don’t know why-seems pointless.” I didn’t believe him, cause, well, he’s a dick, and I expected to see the card…


In game two, I nuts aggroed him out and stomped his face in. And then we went to game three. Ah, game three-what a game. This is in the top five most satisfying games for me ever.


So, it’s game three, and we’re playing our cards. I’m attacking him, he’s fogging me-fun times. He eventually taps out to play a fog or wrath effect (for you non-players, a “wrath effect” means he destroyed every creature on the board) and I smile because of what’s in my hand. You see, I knew that his deck couldn’t answer one card if I drew it and played it when he couldn’t counter it, and that one card just happened to be in my hands. That card’s name is Manabarbs. Kball was watching the match at this point, and when I tapped out to play it, he literally got up from his chair and in the middle of the damn board, threw his hand up in the air for a high-five. I neglected to give him the high-five, mainly because it would be bad sportsmanship, but mentally, I high-fived the SHIT out of his hand.


So, for you non-players, Manabarbs essentially says whenever you tap a land, you take a point of damage. Doesn’t sound like much, right? Well, my opponent’s type of deck was the type that used up a LOT of mana, which meant tapping a lot of lands, which meant…damage. By the Megaton. So, my opponent, trying to maintain some sort of calmness, tapped out to play Time Warp (five extra damage, booyah) and take an extra turn to tap out (five more damage!) and play, you guessed it, Baneslayer Angel. And here he specifically told me it wasn’t in the deck…what a lying sack of crap. Anyway, since I was drawing so many cards, I threw two burn spells at the Angel and attacked him for lethal. Since he was tapped out, he couldn’t fog, and that was that.


So, at this point in the tourney I was 6-freakin-0. That essentially meant that A) I was locked into the top 8 and B) I could finally eat dinner. So, Derek and I went to grab food (he dropped from the tournament earlier on) while the final two rounds went on. We came back, and I sat down for my top 8 pairing.


Turns out I was playing against Russell, a kid in his first top 8. He was enthralled to be there, that was for certain. Sadly, he was my opponent, and I had to at least try to beat him. Also sadly, he was running the enemy-Jund. I don’t recall what happened in games one and two, but they were close and it went to the third game. I ended up playing two Kor Skyfishers by turn four just for him to Maelstrom Pulse them both. After that, I almost had him, as he was mana screwed. There was a point I could have Celestial Purged his Putrid Leech and hit him with a Steppe Lynx for four, but I didn’t, since I was afraid of Sprouting Thranix. That decision cost me the game, as he ended up at four life when he finally beat me.


So, I didn’t make it to the top 4 sadly, but at least I hit top 8 and prize. Russell went on to lose his top 4 match, and in a field of Jund, Eldrazi was the winner. Good times, good times. I ended up getting a foil playset of Arid Mesas for my deck, and we all went home, exhausted. Overall, not too bad of a day for Magic.


An interesting side note on the Eldrazi player-so, rumor has it that he went to another tournament the next day with 46 people in it and didn’t even top 16-strange, isn’t it? I wonder how good he is…sometimes bad luck just happens, though I had heard from the grapevine (some forum that discussed the whole Edison tournament) that he was a horrible player. Essentially, some sore loser felt the need to shit talk everyone in the top 8 who wasn’t his friend (including me and the Eldrazi player). Turns out, some people just can’t handle losing. But here’s the thing-you don’t make a top 8 with 170+ if you’re a really bad player; no one is that lucky.


So that’s the end of my reports for now. As I keep on winning, I’ll be sure to report some more. For now, here’s to shutting up whiners and haters with the utmost prejudice and where it matters most-the Battlefield. I’ll see all y’all haters at the next 5K-believe it. Oh, and I’ll be rocking my foils.

by Anthony "Corta" Conta


Upcoming: The TCG 5K Report


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